Loving: Appreciating the Wait

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I am learning to love your discipline and your ways. I am filled with your presence and only you truly satisfy...
To my Adam,

"I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you.  And I will know you because... when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom... Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses...Your faith will remind me of Abraham... Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel... Your inspiration will remind me of Paul... Your heart for God will remind me of David... Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah... Your integrity will remind me of Joseph... And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples... But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ. But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth... Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary.. Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hanna. I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you."



And to my Father,

"My Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth, only if you should see fit. I desire Your will above mine. So even if you call me to a life of singleness, my heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent. YOU are the greatest love story ever told, the greatest story ever known. You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness. And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business. Oh, I will always be Yours! And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT."


Amen.

Living: Walking Prayerfully

     There is a spiritual war going on inside of me right now. I have no doubt about that. I also have no doubt that I have been called to a specific trip to Ethiopia this summer (see previous post) and this is where my trouble is arising. As soon as you decide to follow through and obey God, Satan will try to find a foothold. But God will be your strength and his word never returns void. Paul has called us to put on the full armor of God. On one side I can hear Satan trying to get ahold of me, whispering "You aren't equipped." "You're too young" and "You don't know what you're getting yourself into." But on the other is God comforting me and reassuring me of the path he has laid out. His peace is so overwhelming, I just want to bask in it forever. So I will keep pressing on. I must remain obedient and faithful.


My prayer this morning:
"Father, I awoke today feeling so uneasy. I haven't a clue where this doubt came from but it is here nevertheless. I fear that I am spiritually immature and inadequate for this task but I know that you will always be by my side. I am so thankful that you consider me trustworthy enough that you called me to go. God, thank you for appointing me to serve you, for never letting your word return void and for remembering all of your children. Have mercy on us and begin a work in those we will be ministering to that will last through the generations. Please let our work bear much fruit and all for your glory. Thank you for your unfailing love. In Jesus Name, Amen."

Quiet Time Scriptures:

"That is why God had mercy on me, so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life. Glory and honor to God forever and ever. His is the eternal King, the unseen one who never dies; he alone is God. Amen."     1 Timothy 1:16-17

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are yound, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.      1 Timothy 4:12

"How thankful I am to Christ Jesus our Lord for considering me trustworthy and appointing me to serve him."     1 Timothy 1:12

Oh, how thankful I am indeed!

Living: My Call to Ethiopia

    Over the course of time God has really softened my heart toward the people of Africa as a whole and I've known about his desire for me to go and serve them for the past few years. He has been using this time to prepare me and has just recently given me an actual date to go. This summer I will be going to Ethiopia on a Go-Trip mission with a group of a few other students and a professor who are also from OBU. I feel so honored that God would choose to use me and I am so excited to watch him work as we are there. The next passages are excerpts from my journal and quiet times since knowing about this trip in particular and show my spiritual journey in preparation for this opportunity.


11/1/10

Wisdom is of more value than foolishness, just as light is better than darkness.
Ecclesiastes 2:13

"In order to be a light to this world I must also have wisdom. God, I am ready to go wherever you want me to go. Reveal your plan for me and give me the wisdom that I need so that I may walk in truth and do as you please."

11/2/10

If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. People like that should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. They can't make up their minds. They waiver back and forth in everything they do.
James 1:5-8

"Father, I know my requests never come back unanswered. Sometimes you may tell me yes, others no, and still others you say later but you always hear my cry. I know you have laid Ethiopia on my heart for a reason. Show me that this is what you have planned for me. Let me know without question that this is what you would have me do."

11/28/10

After praying day by day I "randomly" opened up to this passage. Surely it was a direct answer from the Lord and I took it to heart:

Jeremiah's Call and Vision
The Lord gave me a message. He said, I knew you before I formed you in your mothers womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesperson to the world. "O Sovereign Lord," I said, "I can't speak for you! I'm too young!" "Don't say that," the Lord replied, "for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don't be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you. I, the Lord, have spoken."
Jeremiah 1:4-8

I am also reminded of a verse in 1 Timothy,

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

"God you are so good and your answer is so clear. I have no fear because I know you are with me and I am so thankful to be covered in your peace. Use me to further your kingdom and show me the way. Give me an even stronger conviction, a passion to serve them like no other before. These are a people who are dying inside and desperately need your grace. Break down all language barriers. Let our love for them shine through. Pour out your mercy on them. Let our commission bear much fruit."

1/11/11

I had already started reading through the Old Testament in hopes of finishing the entire Bible before my trip. And I have also secretly started to worry about what I will say as I have never been on a trip like this before, but there is no hiding from the Lord and in my daily reading God speaks to me,

"Who makes mouths?" The Lord asked him. "Who makes people so that they can speak or not speak, hear or not hear, see or not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go, and do as I have told you. I will help you speak well, and I will tell you what to say."
Exodus 4:11-12

I am awestruck at His response to my heart even though I was not ready to admit my insecurity. Surely I will not fail with the Lord who created all beside me!

1/30/11
I heard a new song during worship at church today and it has become the cry of my heart:
Chris Tomlin's I will follow.

Where you go I'll go
where you stay I'll stay
when you move I'll move
I will follow
Who you love I'll love,
how you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose
I will follow you.

Learning: Following God's Call

    I've been an artist for as long as I can remember. My mom still brags about how I would sit at the table completely occupied coloring for hours since I was just two. As I grew older my talent grew with me. I was often confused when people were amazed at my work because it came so naturally to me. And I still haven't quite grasped this but I have learned to embrace it. My drawings evolved in time from stick figures and animals, to copying cartoons, to more elaborate pieces now. I believe that there is always room to grow. That a piece is never finished. I believe that art affects everyone. That there is a certain connection between us when we experience it. And I also believe that there is a divine connection between the art we see, the way we convey it and the condition of our souls.
     Although I have not always been faithful in following God's call I am trying my best to live for him now. For a while I was hesitant to follow his direction even though I know I should. But since my time at OBU I have switched my major from Nursing to Graphic Design. And he has opened so many doors because of that obedience. I thank God for choosing to use me. For wanting to use me. I thank God alone for the talents he has given me more and more as I realize how few are blessed in such a way. There is no way I could have developed them on my own. And all that I ask is that Jesus be glorified in every work that I do.
     One opened door was an opportunity presented to me today. Today I was asked if I would be interested in painting during chapel soon! What an amazing opportunity! I do have to admit though that really don't feel equipped and each time I think about it I start to worry and freak out at the idea of so many people watching me. Until now my painting has been a personal act of worship and a way to get lost and focus on God alone. Live painting will be completely different because I will have to engage so many others in worship and get the piece done in a much quicker span of time.
     But I knew there were going to be big changes after I finally submitted to his will. Besides, God uses the humble and willing not necessarily the 'qualified' right? So I have started thinking of a few scenes I can use to illustrate the life of Jesus for chapel and I am asking God to give me the strength to be everything he has called me to be. I know that he will do great things! I am so blessed in all the ways he is choosing to use me to further his kingdom right now! This is just one step closer to becoming exactly who he wants me to be.

"God's kingdom is like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities.a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.  The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’ “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you. His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.'

Matthew 25:14-30

Living: The Model Prayer

Your Love is Strong

"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective" James 5:13-16 

I'd like to share one of my favorite songs today. "Your Love is Strong" is by Jon Foreman (the lead singer of Switchfoot) and it can be found on his Spring EP from 2008. I love it because each time I give it a listen I can really feel the passion and love behind the music. The lyrics come straight from scripture and Jon cries out to God from the depths of his heart, praying the Lords Prayer. Each time I hear it I am moved and challenged to do the same. I hope after giving it a try that you will be too!

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place
I look at the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Chorus (3x):
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

(Chorus 3x)

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

The Lords Prayer in Scripture

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close your door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

"This, then, is how you should pray:
'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.'"

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6:5-15

Learning: From Paul on Persecution

Why doesn't God always take away our pain? Why does life sometimes seem harder after becoming a Christian?  Can our trials really be used for good? How can we find happiness in them?  

In 2 Corinthians, the apostle Paul writes…

 ^"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10  

     In this life we can expect to suffer. We know that at some point we will face trials and we be persecuted in some way or another. Why? Because Jesus was. Is he not greater than we? Are we not to mirror our lives to his as best we can? And where is our hope in our suffering?

First a thought:

To find happiness in our trials we must appreciate them as a gift and understand that whatever we are going through God will ultimately use for his glory.

"Paul reckoned his great trial to be a gift. It is well-put. He does not say, "There was inflicted on me a thorn in the flesh," but "There was given to me." This is holy reckoning. Child of God, among all the goods of your house, you have not one single article that is a better token of divine love to you than your daily cross. Whatever would be good for you, Christ's grace is sufficient to bestow. Whatever would harm you, his grace is sufficient to avert. Whatever you desire, His grace is sufficient to give, if it be good for you. Whatever you would avoid, His grace can shield you from it if His wisdom shall dictate." C H Spurgeon

     We trust in God so why do we suffer anyway, especially after we are saved? Because we are not of this world. Once we are saved we have a new identity in Christ:

“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also." John 15:18-20 

^"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another. Truly I tell you, you will not finish going through the towns of Israel before the Son of Man comes. The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master." Matthew 10:22-24

     Where is our hope in all of this?

The Beatitudes
"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."  Matthew 5:10-12

     When our own strength is exhausted by suffering, we can clearly see that true strength is rooted in God’s power and that true courage is inspired by his love.

“To be serious about following Christ means suffering for Christ. The more serious we become about being salt and light in the world, the more devoted we will become to mission and justice, the more concerned for the least and the lost, the more stubborn about forgiving those who don’t want our forgiveness, the more determined about exposing the works of darkness -- and the more we will suffer. And yet, ironically, if ever we’ve suffered in this way for the sake of Christ, then we know the power of weakness, that spiritual force and joy of obedience that energizes us to endure the suffering with grace. It is what enabled Paul to declare, "I delight in weaknesses, I am content in insults, I am glad with hardships, in persecutions and in distress that I suffer for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong." Daniel Harrell, Park Street Church, Boston

     Spiritual burdens are allowed in hopes to cure us of our pride so that no one could attribute their success to their own talents. When we keep pushing on through our weakness people begin to truly see the light of God through us. That is the way that ‘In our weakness he is made greater’. Our hope is in the sufficiency of his free grace and the promise that he brings. We must remember that he will never give us more than we can handle with his help and lastly that we are never alone!

^“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39

Today I challenge you to count your blessings and to thank God for your trials, and for the wisdom, conviction and passion that they will someday bring. Take up your cross with joy.

Love always!

P-John